A Personal Story About Finding Happiness

Ubud, Bali ’16

Although I’ve always been a grateful person, happiness wasn’t present all the time. As a kid, I felt locked into being a kid. I guess this sounds strange for most people, but I didn’t like to depend on my parents. I didn’t feel free and I believe most of my fears were caused by dependency. I didn’t dare to rely on my own strength. Writing this post confronts me with quite some emotions. I will explain you why, this might be a great lesson for you too..

During my teenager years and early 20’s, moments of happiness and depression were varying constantly. I’m not sure if I know depression, but I know the feeling of being in despair. In such a state, I feel like things would never be better. I would wonder if I’m fooling myself during the “happy” periods and I would doubt if chronic happiness exists at all. I would rather think that it’s just a state of naivety. I always kept quotes in my head like “it takes sadness to know happiness” and “happiness is not a destination. It’s a mood that comes and goes”. If that’s life, I would definitely accept it, but I was wondering if I would be able to hold on to happiness.

I challenged myself for something I wasn’t sure would even be possible, but I found out it is. I have been mindful making statements about my happiness since I started Tao of Sophia. I wasn’t sure wether it would be long-lasting and didn’t want to brag about it. But I do feel safe enough now to state that “I AM SUPER HAPPY”. Probably 90% of the time, if not more. Opposed to being emotional with a heavy heart, I’m emotional with a smiling face. It still amazes me every day.. I never figured I would be able to feel so good.

It still amazes me every day.. I never figured I would be able to feel so good.

Recently, I gave you tips on getting aware and letting go of poisonous thoughts. However, mind practicing covers a lot more. It is easy to lose yourself in all the self-help with regards to this topic available. I used to put pressure on myself in order to feel happy and I believe this is the worst (and most-frequently?) made mistake. Pressure is the biggest resistance for everything related to the mind. What helped me, was to find inner peace and not to take things too serious. I try to laugh about any negativity spinning around in my head. Out of love for myself, I’m not too strict to myself and I don’t force myself. So, I would say laugh with yourself, be kind to yourself and try not to be affected by time or societal pressure.

“I try to laugh about any negativity spinning around in my head”

A sort of disclaimer: I don’t always have this butterfly-kinda feeling of happiness. I often feel super neutral, but this means being in balance to me. I’m not sure if I made myself clear in my article about a balanced mind last year. I don’t mean balance is fluctuating between happiness and sadness. I personally believe we should be okay feeling neutral, in order to prevent minimums and maximums, because balance is the control we seek.

If you’re always fluctuating between happiness and sadness, I hope this article is an inspiration for you. Happiness being more dominant than depression really is possible.

 

 

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