Let’s have a talk about being present.
I don’t really like to read books about philosophy and I rarely do so. Books are great to give structure in your thinking, but I don’t want it all to be chewed out for me already. I want to come up with things myself, being arisen from my feelings. I think it’s weird to give you a definition of what ‘being present’ is. I will just give my thoughts on what being present means to me. How it feels to me.
There has always been some kind of goal in my life. Graduating high school, gaining my bachelor’s diploma, making my online business work. It feels like I have always been in this train to reach these goals. The goal was the most important focus, and whatever daily thing I have been doing, the goal was always in my mind. The one thing has been followed by the next thing. It feels like life has been rushing by. My latest goal was to find a way to live independently from my work doing online. It has been a two years fight, with a constant doubt if I were going to make it.
I have reached this point in my life in which I feel free. I nearly do have hard deadlines, I can work from everywhere over the world, my home situation is flexible and I’m not in a relationship. I stopped writing for a moment, because it gives me goosebumps of luck. But at the same time, other thoughts are slightly tickling me. Thoughts like: ‘do I maybe need a next plan?’ or rather.. ‘is it okay to feel free?’. I’m having control over this sense of fear, and just the questions are remaining, because I learned to be present. And I do feel present these days. For me, it means to be conscious of daily things which aren’t associated with any aim you might have. It’s quite a neutral feeling, no positivity or negativity attached. I feel quite meaningless, and every new goal I might have, feels kinda insignificant. That’s because I’m more than satisfied what I have or have achieved already. While things associated with your goals can give you an enormous positive boost, they can also make you feel like shit. Whatever goal or plan we do have, in the end it is about living the daily life. Enjoying the daily life feels more valuable, than reaching goals but days passing by unconsciously. Even if they are just small goals.
Obviously I am making new plans, but only on short base. I’m going back to Amsterdam next week, but who knows what I’m going to do next? Besides having some ideas, I definitely don’t have a plan yet. I can imagine new aims will arise naturally along the way. For me as a goal-digger, it can be quite boring to have no plan. My mind is automatically looking for new goals.
I think being present is like the balance between going with the flow, and letting things go. I tried to initiate a discussion about this balance in my post about bad memory several weeks ago. The process of getting present might be different for someone else rather focussing on the past than on the future. I still haven’t discussed the process of getting present, but I will leave it with this too long article already.
What is your idea of being present? And what comes harder for you? Letting go of certain things (looking at the past), or just to go with the flow (looking at the future)?
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